Things can get quite tricky when it comes to playing smart but 'safe'.

I hate bedside tutorials.

It's crucial to PICK the right words.

An extremely HUGE woman was lying in the bed breathing laboriously.
First, start with inspection. So you sort of have a running commentary of what you are looking for, what you are doing and that kind of shit. Just to acknowledge the boss that you know something.

'She is obviously in distress, tachypnoea, pale...'

What else. (Interrogation)

'er....ehm....' Obviously he is expecting me to say that she is overweight which is a great risk factor for most of the diseases you can think of. But how on earth am I going to say that in front of the patient? That she is morbidly obese?

'ah....BMI over 30!' I prayed silently that I've made it as subtle as possible.

'She is obese. Do you agree with me?' Boss said it out flatly.

The patient frowned. I cringed.

'Do you agree with me, Zia?'

What is his problem?

Weighing out all the pros and cons of annoying my boss, I solemnly nodded and cautiously avoid any eye contact with that poor woman. Wa kia si mah!

I know I spoiled the bonding we may possibly shared.


Scenario 2

A little boy looking quite unusual appeared in the clinic. He has flat nose and big slanted eyes. I swear that he has some kind of inherited genetic disorders of some sort. So excitedly I commented that he is dysmorphic-looking. The father frowned. I looked up only to bump into a mirror image of that kiddo.

Obviously he gets the looks from his father, who looks funny but entirely normal. His father threw daggers at me throughout the whole consultation.

I am hated once again.

Scenario 3:

This lady came to Emergency department with recurrent syncope. A plump short lady with baggy clothes tagged alone. She is quite tomboyish with pierced lips and nose. Throughout the consultation she was hugging the patient, french-kissing her at times ( shows no discretion at all, waiyah!), and stroke her on the hair. 'We live together.' She said.So, obviously I thought, they are homosexuals. Not unusual at all nowadays, oh well, I thought.

While typing out the discharge summary, I typed in 'living with her partner' under the social history section. This tomboy then confronted me looking absolutely offended: Hey doc, she is just my friend, ok? We are not partners. And I am straight. You hear me, straight.'

All eyes laid on me.

For a moment I thought the world may just paused for my sake, so that I can just sink into the ground and pretend that I never ever done medicine.

Labels: Responsibilities

* Dreaming is like lollies to the souls_ 3:31 AM