Charmaine 's visit to Dunedin yesterday. I told her I looked like a hamster but she said I have closer resemblance to a pig rather. For a moment I laughed. It's been so long since I heard nasty comments from her...and funny to say, I actually miss them.






I was sitting in with my consultant interviewing a 49 year old Hong kese with chronic Schizophrenia.

As usual, I am busy making observation/assumptions while writing them down:

'Paranoid delusions evident. Irritable, jumpy, moody.
Suspicious, being very secretive and hard to open up.
Labile mood, teary at times.
Poor insight. Poor judgement.
Thinks that everyone is trying to pull him down---hypervigilant and over sensitive. Increase medications please.


Ten minutes later he approached me asking politely if he can read his notes....the one that I have just written in the interview.

For a brief moment I FROZE, horrified.

I pictured myself being followed home and stabbed in the throat, and the pieces of my body are everywhere in the living room, my favourite bed, and the bath tub. Like what you normally come across in the news.

Termination of my lovely life by a deluded morbidly mad schizophrenic man.

He wandered around the place where I worked, waiting patiently for me to surrender the file that will determine my fate in the next 10 minutes.

I confided in my consultant and to my UTTER DELIGHT, she told me he would have to make a formal application to the Hospital for his access to the notes. Phew.. in other words, his application will never be accepted ( as he is currently unwell) and I will still be laughing away living my wasted-but-happy-sometimes-meaningful life.

Gleefully, I broke the news to him flatly only to receive a silent mysterious glare. Can't tell you what that meant.

End result?

I sped off straight after 5 and turned to look around suspiciously at least 10 times during my 3 mins walk home.

I am still a normal girl that is afraid to face death, especially if it is a worthless one. I rather die in a glorious way, like martyrdom for Jesus sake or the aftermath of rescuing Prince William or someone like Takeshi. *wink*

Labels: Sentiments

* Dreaming is like lollies to the souls_ 1:40 AM