FOR LOAN.

He is capable of:

1. Waking you up at 3am to take your medication, and does this consistently 4hourly.
2.Watch over your belongings eg, cell phone, wallet and even carry your handbag when you do the shopping.
3. Line up at the counter to pay the bills
4. Cook D-e-l-i-s-i-o-u-s spaghetti without cheese.
5.Company you to everywhere including Lingerie departments.
6. Giving useful comments about which clothes to buy.
7.Constant reminder to touch up your make ups and hair
8.Timely warning if you put on 100g.
9. As your body guard aka boyfriend in crowded places with menacing stares from strangers
10. The vacuum cleaner for your leftovers
11. Accompany you to the toilet in the middle of the night.
12. He may leak some gas( yes, he farts heaps!), but he surely won't leak your dirty secrets out!
13. He conveniently forgets all his grudges if you put some money into his pocket. Usually will work your way out by giving more than RM10.
14. Representive lawyer.Argue for your sake in whatever convictions you've done. Mum uses him a lot for sure.
15.The ultimate butt pillow. You can choose soft mode (normal tone) and hard mode ( muscle spasm!). Take your own risk. You may experience the occasional farts.

Sorry bro, I am currently suffer from poverty due to impulsive buying (with painful consequences).

NZ 50/hour for the services listed above.
No money no talk!

Labels: Sentiments

* Dreaming is like lollies to the souls_ 4:27 AM