I worry too much.

Most of the time not about me, but others.

I was ecstatic to have my Sunday off. I dreamt of sleeping in late, waking up in noon to catch a good Starbucks coffee opposite my place and off shopping and waste some money.

To my annoyance, I ended up worrying about Sunshine who just started working.

How can he cope..
Has he accidentally 'kill' or finish anyone off...
Has he eaten his lunch...

BLA BLA BLA all that kind of crapz that a mother will be worrying when her first baby just starting Kinder garden.

I am not impressed with myself at all. It was soooooooo mentally tiring.I do not remember myself worrying so much when I first start off working, or even for my very first virgin call. :( I guess you have to pay for being much in love.

Oh well, anyway, so off my Sunday went into the drain, ended up with a argument ( or maybe I was the one scolding) and waking up the next day feeling as shitty as ever because it is Monday...again.

I don't think I can afford to have a kid. If the baby is a girl, I will start worrying about all the 'what ifs'...

What if she fall in a love with a dick? I mean, a butcher or something? I will boycot pork forever!
What if she got pregnant at age of 18?
What if she turns out to be our worst combination and I cant marry her out?What am I going to do with her?

On the other hand, if it's a baby boy there will be all the other 'what ifs' ruminating in my head:

What if he likes a nurse? ( no offence)
What if he confides in me: Mama..All I want to do is to FIX Cars!
What if he thinks that BOy George is hot and I have 2 sons instead of one daughter-in-law?


STOPPPPPPP IT.

See? I am such a worrier.

* Dreaming is like lollies to the souls_ 4:36 AM